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Blessings Everyone!


People are like snowflakes: no two are alike. What works for one person doesn't necessarily have to work for another and can, at times, do damage. This information is presented to you as information only and is not designed for self-assessment or self-treatment. Never go it alone. Find a professional to help you on your way to perfect health.

This, the February Newsletter is coming to you in February. Will wonders never cease? 

Ok, so this time we're going to tell you how to quit smoking. Go ahead, cut and paste into your word processor, share the article with others, or even send them a link to this page (or the entire page). If you smoke, quitting is the one thing that will improve your health the most, and that is that.

The battle between Conventional Medicine and Alternative Medicine is heating up again. We've got some new figures for you. The numbers of casualties grows.

Lots of interesting keep reading!

1. How to Quit Smoking - Boy, are we experts! And don't forget to check out the Product Reviews, cuz these will help you to quit!

2. The Number One Killer In America - Cancer? Heart Disease? Or?

3. Bypassing Bypass - Wellness Directory 3rd Edition Special Online Offer Extended

4. Conventional Medicine vs. Alternative Medicine - In this corner, weighing in at billions and billions of dollars....

5. Microwave Safety - Ok, I've been preaching this for years, but now you can hear it from an MD.

6. Conventional Medicine Recommends: Alcohol - What? we haven't killed enough people using medicine?

7. Overlooked Cancer Cures - Though some have been around for centuries.

8. New Test for Breast Cancer - Safer than Biopsy

9. Moducare Sterinol - Where to find it cheap!

10. Update on Dr Sam Chachoua - Happy Birthday

11. Relief for Herpes - not a cure.

12. Spirit, Water, Nourishment - another look at our spiritual side.

13. Smallpox Update 

14. Mitobi Update - Agaricus Mushroom Supplier

15. Tidbits

16. Laughter - The Best Medicine 

17. Name This War - A CONTEST!!!

This has been our most successful ad ever on this web. We teach
you an introduction to Spring Forest Qigong here on this web,
but this is the full course taken in your own home.


How to Quit Smoking

We've moved this to it's own page. Click here: How to Quit Smoking.

The Number One Killer In America

With JAMA telling  us two years ago that modern medicine kills a quarter million people a year, that put conventional medicine at the third largest killer in America. The article also stated that these numbers are the low end of their calculations, meaning that they could be a little bigger. Or even much bigger.

Just recently, further studies published in JAMA and the American Journal of Medicine and other prestigious medical magazines  have now done further studies showing that more and more patients are being admitted to hospitals, and more and more patients are dying,  of prescription and over-the-counter medications.

How many? 

Most of the studies put it at about 1% of patients. 

Now, let us take up an issue close to home: Smallpox Vaccinations.


By the government's estimates, 30 out of 600,000 individuals vaccinated will die from the vaccination (this is why a law was passed making it impossible to sue the drug companies if anything goes wrong with you or a member of your family's vaccination--because it is expected). 

Now if we extrapolate this figure to cover all of us 275 million Americans, that comes to 7,000 deaths WITHOUT Saddam Hussein or Bin Laden having to lift a finger. These 7,000 lives will be lost due to paranoia and government interference. 

And yet, this figure of 7,000 out of 250 million is less than are killed by prescription and over-the-counter medications. This is only .005% of the population when most of the previous studies (you can read about them here at Dr Mercola's web site: ) put accidental death by legal drugs at 1% of the population.

Now let us refer back to something we've been working on for 9 years, our research into Cardiovascular Disease/Wellness. 

We've mentioned in a previous newsletter that in a study of three different groups of people (all things being equal); one receiving bypass, one not receiving bypass, and the other not receiving bypass surgery but they did receive prayers. Which lived the longest? Why, the group receiving prayer.

The other two groups (bypass versus no bypass) had nearly (no great statistical significance) the same life span. 

IN OTHER WORDS: NO BYPASS IS JUST AS GOOD AS BYPASS. Which in the real world would mean, given the studies, that bypass surgery is a worthless procedure.

Let's take this one step further. The latest study comes from the prestigious New England Journal of Medicine which showed that those opting for an invasive procedure such as balloon angioplasty or bypass surgery has a 210% greater chance of a heart attack than those who opted to do nothing. (Our book, Bypassing Bypass is still on sale! See below for info. Or, if you think you know it all, at least increase your Omega-3 intake. It is the best thing you can do for your heart on your own. Go here.)

In the late nineties, the Los Angeles Times reported that "unnecessary" heart surgeries increased the "in hospital" death rates by 70%. 

Some estimates claim that more than 30,000 in hospital deaths are caused by these invasive heart surgeries each year.

Do any of you remember way back to one of our first newsletters where we reported the statistics that came out of periods where physicians went on strike? I was in Israel when the Israeli physicians all went on strike. Then there were the Los Angeles County Doctors' Strike. Do you remember the stats? They were quite simple: hospital mortality rates dropped 50%.

Then there is one more thing killing us because it is not curing us: You cannot cure a nutritional deficiency with medicine.

This is so important a statement, we're going to have to say it again.

You cannot cure a nutritional deficiency with medicine.

The Standard American Diet (SAD) is hopeless. It lacks in fiber, usable vitamins and minerals, and is high in carbohydrates and terrible fats. Physicians do not (for the most part) study nutrition. They study pharmaceuticals. Odds are a patient's complaints are more related to diet than any physician comprehends. If your doctor does not tell you to change your diet and gives you medicines for something that is diet related (such as heart disease), s/he is not curing you; s/he is merely stabilizing a condition which will eventually lead to an early death. 

So, what is it in America that is killing us?

According to the new statistics, the new figures, and extrapolations on the old figures, the largest single cause of death in America is now Modern Medicine.

And the battle is just heating up.


Question of the week: 
Can you name a vegetable that works best at 
maintaining bone density? Better than the osteoporosis 
drug calcitonin?


Quotation of the Week (heck, this one's two centuries old)

"Unless we put medical freedom into the constitution the time will come when medicine will organize into an undercover dictatorship to restrict the art of healing to one class of man, and deny equal privileges to others. The constitution of this republic should make a special privilege for medical freedom as well as religious freedom." 

Benjamin Rush, Physician and signer of the Declaration of Independence.

Conventional Medicine vs. Alternative Medicine 

Consumer Reports recently jumped on the Conventional Medicine band wagon and called for a ban on Ephedra.  Ephedra is a medicinal herb (also known as Ma Huang). Now, Ephedra can be potentially dangerous if used improperly. But so can Tylenol. We here at the International Wellness Directory recognize the dangers of Ephedra, especially if you have heart disease or do not follow the instructions. We also recognize the dangers of Tylenol.  

Ephedra is used by many to help lose weight. It acts like an amphetamine. It has also been used to treat respiratory ailments. 

Many companies have pulled their products off the market that contained ephedra after the AMA called for a complete ban on the herb. 

Heart attacks, seizures, and even death can result from "abusing" ephedra.  

The FDA states that 14,000 unintentional overdoses resulting in about 100 deaths a year are due to Tylenol. The numbers are a low estimate.

Aspirin kills just as many (increases your chances of a hemorrhagic stroke by 40% in people taking it daily).

Then there are the figures in the second article above, The Number One Killer In America. 

So, how many people are killed by ephedra? Our friends at the Health Science Institute did some digging and came up with the figure of 81 deaths. Not 81 deaths per year, but 81 deaths over an eight year period. 

Yet, people are calling for a ban on ephedra. 

A few short years ago, Canada announced they wanted to investigate Alternative Medicine. The result was disastrous: many of the alternatives were banned from over-the-counter sales and can be available only with a physician's prescription. Seeing how physicians know very little about these nutrients, the ban became an unofficial blanket ban, assuring the Pharmaceutical Industry that they had complete control of medicine. Luckily, they can still order their supplements on the Internet, though this might be stopped in the future.

After Matthias Rath and Linus Pauling discovered that the cause of hardening of the arteries was nutritional, the Pharmaceutical Cartel, also known as Codex Alimentarius, succeeded in banning sales of Vitamin C in much of Europe claiming that mega doses of Vitamin C were dangerous and that anything over 400mgs of Vitamin C had to be prescribed by a physician. Because Vitamin C can reverse hardening of the arteries (when taken with proper co-factors), many in Europe call the pharmaceutical cartel induced ban another Holocaust. Many are screaming for justice as their families are dying from medicines that cannot cure heart disease.

AARP is an egregious supporter of Conventional Medicine (they're biggest advertisers are the Pharm Companies) and egregious detractors of Alternative Medicine. 

Here you can visit Dr Day's and see their attack on this person who was at one time considered one of the top minds in the field of medicine, and her response: Dr Day. Read the entire page there. She is an amazing person who once taught medicine and now teaches how to heal. 

The Cost of Death
In the US we spend, on the average, over 5.5 thousand dollars a year
per person on medical expenses. So, if you haven't spent 
your 5.5 grand yet, someone else has. 
However, if we consider the NEW (extrapolated above) number 
of people killed by medicine, we now spend
5 Billion Dollars a year killing patients. 
At least we know where our medical dollars are going.


Microwave Safety 

We've covered this before, but new studies have come forward, and a few more physicians are admitting that food cooked in a microwave should not be eaten. 

I was once asked, "How come no one (but you) knows these things? 

The truth about microwaves (and modern medicine) is not very profitable. America's bottom line is profit. Is it profitable to attack microwave ovens? 

Well, we're here to give the truth for free (since we're all volunteers here) and to help you change your lives for the better. Our friends at Health Science Institute wrote a quick little article that we are reprinting here and the only changes are the links to the sites on the web where you can read about the actual studies/papers.

Dr Allan Spreen MD gives us the following (the links are placed by us): 

There are very few studies on microwave cooking and food quality. There's a reason for that, which I'll get to in a second. What studies exist are all bad news for microwaving - they universally describe some type of damage. One study showed breakdown of vitamin B-12 to inactive degradation products in microwaved foods. The magazine "Health & Healing Wisdom" reports that Russian research concerning neurological effects of altered magnetic states of microwaved foods caused the Russian government to outlaw all food microwave apparatus in 1976 (I don't know if that ban still exists). Another study showed depletion of antibodies and breakdown of enzymes when breast milk is microwaved. 

There's also a problem with release of potentially toxic molecules into the food from packaging designed to help brown food during microwaving. This includes items such as pizza, French fries, waffles, popcorn and breaded fish - and these findings were determined by the FDA!

The most controlled (and scary) research was almost stopped from anyone knowing about it before being published. Two Swiss researchers sequestered subjects under close scrutiny and blood tested them after randomly eating food that was either microwaved or conventionally cooked. They found all sorts of potentially nasty stuff: (1) blood hemoglobin levels decreased significantly after ingesting microwaved foods, both total levels and the amount contained in each red blood cell; (2) White blood cell levels tended to increase for no other reason than foods were microwaved; (3) microwaves altered protein molecules; (4) LDL cholesterol (the 'bad' type) increased relative to HDL cholesterol (the 'good' type). 

The problem was, they were immediately sued by the "Swiss Association of Dealers for Electroapparatuses for Households and Industry," and one of the authors was convicted by the Swiss Federal Court of "interfering with commerce."  The fine was the equivalent of $65,000. So, the message is you think twice before stepping on too many big-money toes. 

However you slice it, there appears to be a problem with those high frequency, alternating current (meaning abnormal for the human system) electromagnetic waves...but it's sure an easy way to fix popcorn!

Good Health,
Allan Spreen, M.D.

A simple formula for you: Your time on earth is directly proportionate to the amount of time you spend in the kitchen, and inversely proportionate to the number of hands that have touched your food. That is, unless you get run over by a beer truck. Then all bets are off.

Is our Government Really Interested in Cutting Health Care Costs?

Then how about this suggestion: outlaw microwave ovens.
This could save anywhere from 100 - 500  million bucks a year.

Medicine's Latest Cure: Alcohol

So three drunks walk into a bar. The first one orders a martini, the second one passes out, and falls flat on the floor, and the third one orders a Manhattan. The bartender leans over looking at the one lying on the floor and asks, "What'll he have?" 

One of the standing drunks replies, "None for him, he's driving having a bypass.

So now medicine recommends a few cocktails to help fight heart disease. This is amazing.  The benefits you get from alcohol can be gotten from eating fruits and vegetables. 

This is sheer madness. Personally, I like a beer now and then, especially with meals. Yes, I know the benefits of that glass of beer (heck, I discovered that beer and wine help to reverse hardening of the arteries some 6 years ago), but I also know the drawbacks. For one thing, thousands of people are killed by drunk drivers and the costs of these deaths are in the millions. And then there is the fact that the human body was really never meant to take in alcohol (it kills brain cells and suppresses liver function). I still remember someone telling me that his Doctor said he could have (while taking chemotherapy) a couple of glasses of wine each day. I still remember my response: "You might as well have asked your Attorney. They've both studied just as much nutrition."

So now Medicine is telling us that alcohol can be beneficial? Perhaps someday, just someday, Medicine will stand up and tell us that wholesome, whole, organic foods are good for us and better than their medicine in so many cases.

And as they say on TV . . . maybe someday monkeys will fly out my butt.

Viagra Saves The Whales! 
The medical wonder Viagra is saving more than the sex drive
of impotent men. Many cultures believe that certain exotic
animal body parts can cure the problem of sexual difficulty
in men. However, since the drug's introduction in 1998, the
worldwide demand for these strange animal aphrodisiacs has dropped 
by more than 70%. Seeing as how the drug is cheaper than seal
 penis, black bear testicles, or reindeer antler moss, Viagra is
 helping to save the world's wildlife. This heart-warming story is
a reminder that the male erection can be beneficial to man,
woman and mother nature.
(From News of the Bizarre)

Overlooked Cancer Cures
Poultices, Salves, and Herbs

Edgar Cayce, the sleeping prophet, during one of his "sleep" sessions told of a cancer cure using castor oil packs. In a short while, they became Cayce's favorite therapy. However, one of our success stories wrote me a letter telling me of friends' successes with a variety of poultices: "Castor oil packs," she reminded me, "are just the tip of the iceberg." 

So we've added Poultices to our list of Alternative Cancer Therapies. Then there are Escharotics, from the word "burn" because many of them are caustic. They are used for skin cancers. The best, according to a few physicians we've talked to, is Cansema. Just click on the links and visit. Oh, and one more: we talked about it in our Skin Cancer page, called Curaderm. We got this following letter: 

Thanks for being there, Thanks for the info on curaderm and how to contact them, that stuff really works, Trae Soule.

And just one more thing you should know of: Chaparral. The American Natives have used this herb for centuries. We make a little mention of it in our Alternative Cancer Therapies under Cansema (since it is one of the ingredients).


Can someone please explain to me why the people they use for the diet advertisements
(like the new weight loss patch) would blow away in a light wind? 

FDA Approves Electricity Test for Breast Cancer
original story at:

A device that uses electricity to map possible breast lumps may reduce the number of women who get unnecessary biopsies because their mammograms are unclear, The Food and Drug Administration said April 19. American women undergo 30 million mammograms a year. The breast X-ray is the gold standard in detecting breast cancer, particularly early tumors.

Mammograms often clearly show which breast lesions should be biopsied immediately. But they also can be ambiguous, leaving a doctor in doubt as to whether to do a biopsy immediately, or to wait six months and X-ray again.

Some 800,000 biopsies are done every year, from which 180,000 women are diagnosed with breast cancer. The rest are benign lumps. So scientists have hunted ways to reduce unnecessary biopsies without missing women who have cancer. Some doctors use ultrasound machines that use sound waves to picture lumps as an addition to the mammogram's X-rays. The T-Scan 2000 is another alternative. It uses electricity to create a map of the breast.

A one-volt shot of electricity is sent into the hand, where it travels through the body into the breast. A handheld probe is moved over the breast, where it measures the electrical conductivity of breast cells. Cancer cells conduct much less electricity than healthy cells - so when the probe flashes its findings onto a computer screen, possible tumors show up as bright white spots.

TransScan's studies suggest that adding the electricity test for women with ambiguous mammograms can improve diagnostic accuracy and lower unnecessary biopsies by about 20 percent.

Moducare Sterinol

We focused on this Immunomodulator (if your immune system is down, it brings it up; if it's up, it brings it down) in our article Your Immune System. If you want to read about it, click here: Moducare

The reason we bring this up here is that one of our readers found it online at the lowest price we've ever seen, so if you want something for your immune system, click here: 

Update on Dr Chachoua

Ok, you're probably getting very tired of hearing about the trials and frustrations of Dr Chachoua. But this time, we have something very very very interesting for you.

For one thing, it's the good doctor's birthday. Everyone say a little prayer that he lives to see another. 

Next, his people have created a website. You can go there and see the ONLY newscast that covered his cure, the theft of his sera (plural of serum) and the multimillion dollar trial that he initially won and then overturned by people with a lot more money than the good doctor could come up with. 



Ok, here's what I'm going to do. I really apologize for this. The site is great. But, even my contacts don't know why it is down. So, in our next newsletter, we will explain Dr Sam's IRT (Induced Remission Therapy). But, for now, I did take the movie (sorry it's very big and the sound goes bad in places) from the site and post it here. It is the actually newscast of the story that everyone doubts because NO NETWORK carried it. 

Well, Network News's biggest sponsors are drugs. Just watch. So, if you want to see the truth, for yourself, about the cure for AIDS that was stolen and lost, click here.

Click & watch and then ask yourself if there is something you can do to change this world in which profits are more important than human life

Appropriate Quotation

"Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired signifies in a final sense, a theft from those who hunger and are not fed, those who are cold and not clothed." Dwight D. Eisenhower

Relief for Herpes

So once in a while you get a sore on your lip (or genitals). Modern medicine has a few antivirals that you can take internally or use topically. Well, we found something that really works.

First off, the herpesvirus sits in your spinal column and waits for everything to be just right to come out. If your immune system is working properly, it stays put. If you miss some sleep, get over stressed, or come down with a cold or flu, the herpesvirus might just make you a visit.

What to do? 1,500mgs of L-lysine daily. This really helps to dry up the sores. 

Spirit, Water, Nutrition

We introduced you in our last newsletter to the spirit side of the wholistic (body/mind/spirit) model. We also talked about water and let you in on some very exciting studies from Japan. I sure hope you went to visit those web sites and saw the wonderful crystals that Dr Emoto captured.

Well, we're going to make a little synthesis here.

Dr Chopra, in one of his lectures, talked about an experiment in which they wanted to raise the cholesterol levels in rabbits so they could test some cholesterol lowering drugs on them. However, one group of rabbits never got high cholesterol. So, they monitored the feeding procedure: they watched the attendant get the feed. They made sure that it was the feed with "junk food" so that it would raise their cholesterol levels. They watched him feed the animals. Yes, they all got the required amount. Then they saw him do something that wasn't in the experiment: he petted them and talked softly to them while they ate. 

Ok, their conclusion? that kinesthetic palpation affected the animals digestive system..... Ok, so they were scientists and scientists rarely talk about love. Instead, they use terms like palpation and kinesthetic on. 

There are people in this world who do not get proper nutrition, yet they have healthy smiles and healthy bodies. 

And then there was the water. Did you see the crystals? Amazing stuff. In this house, I filter my water. I add things like Primordial M Water or Microhydrin or Crystal Energy or Willard Water. I also put a label on my water: I Love You. 

My water filter has that label. My water heater has that label. My water softener has one too. 

And before meals, we hold hands. 

Amazing things happen to our health when we let Spirit in. And there is no better representation of Spirit (at least to us) than Love. 

Take time out in your day to thank your higher power for this wonderful day. The chance to live. The chance to love. The chance to heal. 

 Cancer Cure Becomes a Food Preservative

Ok, so in a past newsletter we told you about one cancer cure (d.leminone) that can clean your house. Well, this time we have more news about resveratrol, one of the neatest phytochemicals every discovered. Again, we must point out that this is one of the chemicals in wine that helps to reverse heart disease (also found in regular grape juice). 

Resveratrol is also an antioxidant. Food preservatives are antioxidants. If you want to see how an antioxidant works, slice up an apple and lay out the slices. On a few slices, sprinkle some lemon juice. In just a short time, you'll see very clearly the difference. The ones without lemon juice have turned brown. The ones with the juice are still fresh. Lemon juice contains a lot of vitamin c. Vitamin C is an antioxidant. Antioxidants are natural food preservatives.

Well, a group of scientists in Spain applied a form of resveratrol to fruits just picked and sure enough after a period of time there was no damage due to aging. So as a food preservative, you get an added bonus of protection from cancer.

Appropriate Quotations

Winston Churchill once said, "If the human race wishes to have a prolonged and indefinite
period of material prosperity, they have only got to behave in a peaceful
and helpful way toward one another."

And then he added, "More than an end to war, we want an end to the beginning of all wars - yes, an end to this brutal, inhuman and thoroughly impractical method of settling the differences between governments."


Smallpox Update

Now that we mentioned Smallpox above in one article, I suppose we should tell you what's happening (in case you haven't heard).

First off, as you know, Dick Armey laid a last minute clause into the Homeland Security Bill that would prevent any lawsuits if a vaccination goes bad. We already know that approximately 7,000 Americans will die if everyone is vaccinated. There is no legal recourse.

So, knowing that there are dangers to a smallpox vaccination, health care personnel are starting to balk. They have all been slated to be the first to receive the vaccinations. One hospital in Washington State just said NO to the entire program. 

"We know there are risks; this is the riskiest of vaccines," noted Matías Valenzuela, spokesman for Public Health — Seattle & King County.

We already know that this vaccine is not good for people with less than perfect immune function: people with AIDS, cancer patients, organ recipients, pregnant women, people with eczema even. 

Most all hospital officials say that this program has arrived way too quickly. There hasn't been enough time to formulate questions let alone the answers. Or as many are asking, "What's the rush here?"

The program to vaccinate came out with a flurry of fear. The New England Journal of Medicine, like we here in a previous newsletter, answered the fear mongers with a short little article concluding that a smallpox terrorist attack would not be as risky as believed. They questioned the wisdom of vaccinating hundreds of thousands of health-care workers.

At one hospital out east, the people showed up to vaccinate all the health care workers and only three showed up for their inoculations. 

Next the American Nurses Association sent a letter to the President asking him to delay the smallpox vaccination plans.

Here are the issues that they stated must be resolved before they can fully support the vaccination program:

* the potential transmission of the vaccinia virus to patients and family members; 
* the right of coverage of medical costs associated with receiving the vaccine; 
* the utilization of safer bifurcated needles; 
* the critical need to establish an adequate prescreening and education program; 
* maintaining sufficient staffing during the voluntary, pre-event vaccination program; 
* compensation for lost time at work due to adverse effects of the vaccination program, and protection from job discrimination or retaliation for refusing to be vaccinated. 

And finally there is YOUR responsibility. What will you do when You are "forced" to get vaccinated?

Well, we have it on good account that you can go to a local homeopath and get a homeopathic vaccination against smallpox, which is much less toxic (isn't toxic at all) and make sure that your physician writes you something to show the storm troopers who will be knocking at your door. 

Here is a link to an article written by Dr Lorraine Day, MD (mentioned above) but it is not located at her site (though the links on the page do work). She is an amazing healer and a very good researcher and writer. Her books and videos are highly recommended by anyone who wants to change their life...for the better: 


This war "issue" is truly on everyone's minds. The people for the war, hesitantly albeit, have two issues: 1. Saddam Hussein must be stopped. 2. We must guarantee our safety. 

I pity those who've bought into the "theory" that Saddam Hussein is a new breed of Hitler. Especially when Korea has incarcerated 1/5 of its entire population in "work" camps...and has Nukes aimed at our shores. As for our safety, are we ever safe? Were we safe on 9-11? Have the problems in our security that allowed 9-11 to happen been fixed? Are our 13 Security Agencies (FBI, CIA, etc. etc.) working together yet or still having hissy-fits and whining like little spoiled children the the other won't play fair?

My Christian friends ask, "WWJD: What would Jesus do?" Personally, I like to ask, "WWJB: Who would Jesus Bomb?"

Our site, our goal is all about wellness. War is not well. 

So, I give you two very good articles to read, the first being the Chief UN Weapons Inspector's response to Colin Powell's UN security counsel briefing, the second one asks if we are truly ready for war. Or you can go here to play a war game: 

Seeing how we're about to go to war anyways (we'll never learn: Jimmy Carter warned Bush Sr that he'd stir up a bees nest in the Middle East with his Desert Storm War...and sure enough, a few years later we get 9-11 and Jimmy Carter gets the Nobel Peace Prize) and every major city in America will become a target for terrorists, here are a few things in a last ditch effort to keep America well.

Our president likes to rag about Hussein gassing his own people. For the truth, read A War Crime or an Act of War?

For a little light piece, may I suggest: 

Evil Evildoers Of Evil
How to Feel Calmly Patriotic and Yet Not the Slightest Bit Reassured by Bush & Co.

Oh, I'll bet some of you have no Idea about the New Amendments to the PATRIOT ACT...that would allow for "secret arrests" etc etc etc....or even this: Native Americans will be jailed for wearing war paint. New anti-terrorism bill makes face paint and masks criminal offenses in public forums

For more on these new amendments, Click Here. Or you may read CBS New's take: 

We love to call Saddam Hussein another Hitler, but here's something entitled: 81 Year Old US WWII Veteran Warns Of Bush-Nazi Similarities

Fake Terror Alerts - We're As Stupid As They Think

One of my Vietnam Brothers wrote this: Ask An Old Soldier What War Is All About

Oh, and just to show you that the War on Iraq has nothing to do with 9-11, you might want to read about how it was planned back in 1997: Invading Iraq not a new idea for Bush clique

Sorry if you don't like my view of War...but if someone can convince me that war is healthy for children and other living things, please, feel free.

Laughter - The Best Medicine

I must leave you with something a little less depressing than that last section. Besides, laughter increases you immunoglobulins, your T-Cell counts, and interleukins. So....let's get with it.

A gastroenterologist claims these are actual comments made by his patients while he was performing colonoscopies:

1. "Take it easy, Doc, you're boldly going where no man has gone before."

2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"

3. "Can you hear me NOW?"

4. "Oh boy, that was sphincterrific!"

5. "Could you write me a note for my wife, saying that my head is not, in fact, up there?"

6. "You know, in some states, we're now legally married."

7. "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"

8. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out. You do the Hokey Pokey...."

9. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"

10. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must acquit!"

11. "Hey, Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."

12. "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"

* * * 

Yes, laughter IS the best medicine. There should be no doubts as to why the following individuals have lived such long and active lives:

The following are "Senior" personal ads seen in Florida and Arizona  newspapers: 

FOXY LADY: Sexy, fashion-conscious blue-haired beauty, 80's slim, 5'-4" (used to be 5-6), searching for sharp-looking, sharp-dressing companion. Matching white shoes and belt a plus.

LONG-TERM COMMITMENT: Recent widow who has just buried fourth husband looking for someone to round out a six-unit plot. Dizziness, fainting, shortness of breath not a problem.

SERENITY NOW: I am into solitude, long walks, sunrises, the ocean, yoga and meditation. If you are the silent type, let's get together, take our hearing aids out and enjoy quiet times.

WINNING SMILE: Active grandmother with original teeth seeking a dedicated flosser to share rare steaks, corn on the cob and caramel candy.

BEATLES OR STONES? I still like to rock, still like to cruise in my Camaro on Saturday nights and still like to play the guitar. If you were a groovy chick, or are now a groovy hen, let's get together and listen to my eight-track tapes.

MINT CONDITION: Male, 1922, high mileage, good condition, some hair, many new parts including hip, knee, cornea, valves. Isn't in running condition, but walks well.

MEMORIES: I can usually remember Monday through Thursday. If you can remember Friday, Saturday and Sunday, let's put our two heads together

* * * 

A tough old Texas cowboy once counseled his grandson that if he wanted to live a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a little gunpowder on his oatmeal every morning.

The grandson did this religiously and he lived to the age of 93.

When he died, he left 14 children, 28 grandchildren, 35 great grandchildren, and a fifteen foot hole in the wall of the crematorium.

* * * 

The Guardian Angel's Mistake

A middle-aged woman has a heart attack and is taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she has a near-death experience. During that experience she sees her guardian angel and asks if this is her time. The angel says no and explains that she has another 30-40 years to live.

Upon her recovery she decides to just stay in the hospital for a few more days and have a facelift, liposuction and a tummy tuck. She even has someone come in and change her hair color. She figures since she's got another 30 or 40 years she might as well make the most of it. She walks out the hospital after the last operation and is killed by an ambulance speeding up to the hospital.

She arrives in heaven again, sees her guardian angel and says, "I thought you said I had another 30-40 years!!"

The angel replies, "Sorry. I didn't recognize you."

* * * 

And now for those of you who think I despise conventional medicine (you have no idea really, it's one of the toughest jobs in America and the really good ones are worth their weight in gold), here is a little joke that will tell you why I truly admire many physicians:

A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a motorcycle when he spotted a well known heart surgeon in his shop. The surgeon was there waiting for the service manager to come take a look at his bike.

The mechanic shouted across the garage, "Hey Doc, can I ask you a question?"

The surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic working on the motorcycle. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, 'So, Doc, look at this engine. I open its heart, take valves out, fix 'em, put 'em back in and when I finish, it works just like new. So how come I get such a small salary and you get the really big bucks, when you and I are doing basically the same work?"

The surgeon paused, smiled and leaned over and whispered to the mechanic ... "try doing it with the engine running!"

 Name This War

As long as thousands of innocent civilians are going to die, let's have some fun and Name This War. 

Operation Desert Storm was a classic Madison Avenue moniker. In this day and age of spiffy catch phrases, we really need a good one for the coming atrocities.  So, put on your thinking caps and send a letter to [email protected] with the subject: How Much Does This Holocaust?

We will post the best ten in the next newsletter, and let our readers vote.

The winner gets an electronic copy of the Third Edition of the Wellness Directory of Minnesota : Bypassing Bypass.


Can you name a vegetable that works best at maintaining bone density? Better than the osteoporosis drug calcitonin? 

This one even surprised the researchers. You'd think that the dark green veggies (broccoli, spinach, kale), which have more calcium than milk, would be the obvious answer, but no, it was the lowly...................ONION.

They did not know why and didn't offer any educated guesses. (I'm assuming that the onion helps keep the body's chemistry alkaline, though I could be wrong.)

However, yes, the dark green veggies also worked better than the drug, so here is your recipe for healthy bones past menopause: EAT A SALAD A DAY. And stay away from antacids unless you have been thoroughly diagnosed with an acid condition (you need stomach acid to absorb calcium). Unless you are tested for having too much acid, your doctor's opinion is worthless. 



Thanx to Janet for proofing this long winded newsletter!